Despite my best intentions, I have not written on here as often as I’d planned to originally. Nonetheless, I have over 700 “follows” on this blog. I haven’t the faintest idea how this is even possible, although I’d like to think that the majority are perhaps “bots” or so. Either way, for those of you who have read, followed, and/or commented, thank you very much for your feedback. 🙂 It is much appreciated and I absolutely adore the lot of you.
Since I’m here, I figure I might as well say a few things that have been on my mind. For one, I am in disbelief as to how much has changed since the last time I did write. The first half of 2014 is more or less over, we only have the month of June left until it reaches the exact center. For the first time in a long time however, time hasn’t necessarily flown by as in other years. Perhaps this can be chalked up to what has been one of the most interesting experiences in my life thus far.
Long story short, I met a guy. A guy who, over the course of almost 5 months, has managed somehow to begin to worm his way into the crevices of my long protected heart. His life and family situation is incredibly complicated, and his living arrangements are not exactly ideal. He has a tendency to believe he’s the best thing to ever be born for a while, and he’s the kind of guy who doesn’t necessarily believe in wooing a girl. However, he’s beautiful. He has an adorable smile and bright, friendly eyes. As gooey as it may sound, holding his gaze is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever experienced. We share so many of the same values and priorities in life. We have similar modes of emotional expression and have well thought out debates and discussions about issues that interest both of us. We can talk for hours and poke fun at each other and are both hesitant to hang up afterward. But we’re not romantic in the way you’d think would be romantic. For us, the romance is subtle. It’s a long distance relationship, so our occasional “I miss you’s” speaks volumes. And the few times we have been in each others company has been full of less conversation and more enjoying the company and presence of the other. He’s as dedicated to his faith as I am, and that alone was reason enough for me to give him such a chance from the very beginning.
I know this may seem ridiculous, but we’re engaged to be married in December. Our religion and culture leans away from frivolous relationships and emphasizes taking things seriously from the beginning. The first two and a half months of our conversations were no where near frivolous. We’ve discussed topics that most people don’t start talking about until far into a relationship. I don’t feel rushed. I feel comfortable with the idea of marrying him. It should be noted that I can’t honestly say I’m in love with him, although that is very very near to changing. It’s like a quote from one of my favorite fanfictions (I ship Dramione…yea I know go away) by author “Bex-chan”
It struck her then, as hard as thunder and as soft as lullabies. She was falling. Not yet love, but kissing the seams.
I feel like this short, terrible post has not even begun to do justice to everything. But perhaps I will explain things more later on. As things have settled and I am able to articulate what is happening to my heart just a little better.
Ha ha. Me. Being speechless and unable to articulate feelings. 2014 really has been a very different year.