“If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?”
Definitely a tough choice, but it would probably be to steady my somewhat fragile nerves. I worry ceaselessly about many things. If a family member is out and hasn’t been picking up their cellphone, I automatically think the absolute worst. If I get a “Breaking News” notification, I don’t think “robbery” or “drug bust”, I think more along the lines of “impending apocalypse” (ok maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration but you know what I mean). And the most irritating part is that when I’m in full out worry/panic mode, I’m completely useless to the world and to myself. I cold sweat and shiver and am frozen in place, desperately trying to grasp something to focus on that will reassure me even a little bit that everything is ok.
It is an incredibly harrowing personality trait, and I know exactly where I’ve inherited it from. My mum’s mum worries the same about everyone. When there is any crisis, she is the last person anyone thinks to tell, because we know she’s going to be unable to sleep or eat until things get marginally better.
I’d be so grateful for some steadier nerves. If only we could all just be gifted that. Magically get one thing automatically fixed about ourselves.
Tomorrow is my long day at school. Even though it involves back to back Psychology classes, I feel exhausted already.