I am still quite speechless at the moment. I haven’t been able to form too many coherent thoughts since I spoke to a good friend of mine this morning. She married just a year ago, a small and simple wedding in a Mosque. She looked stunningly beautiful, and had a smile on her face that dimmed everyone else in the room. She was young at the time, just 19, but she was sure about him and everyone supported her and wished her well.
Today I found out that their marriage is over, a little over two months past their 1 year anniversary. I couldn’t believe it. When asked what happened, her only answer was that they both wanted different things in a spouse.
I desperately wanted to say, did you NOT have conversations BEFORE marriage that discussed those things? Expectations of each other is one of the most important things to talk about, it impacts your everyday life. And how do you just flippantly say your marriage is over? As though you just gave up on it because you couldn’t be bothered?
People disregard marriage as anything important. They don’t consider it to be sacred, or special. Even those from religious backgrounds. It’s looked at as slightly more serious than dating, and when things get tough or you disagree, just drop kick it out the window and look for a new one.
I’m disgusted, scared, immensely sad, and still in solid disbelief at the same time. Disgusted because I’ve lost a lot of my faith in marriage. Scared because a failed marriage is something that’s always worried me, and now that such a close friend divorced after 1 year, it seems so much more feasible now. Sad because I’m sad it didn’t work out for her, and because marriage is such a beautiful thing. It’s the joining of two people, an agreement to beautiful interdependence in a society that is so focused on individuality and selfishness. And in disbelief because seriously…one year.
I can’t bring myself to think about this any more.
Humanity, please restore my faith in you soon.