You know how sometimes the craziest things strike your mind just as you’re about to fall asleep? Last night, the last thing I remember musing over before blissful sleep overtook me was the fleetingness of youth.
I think it came from a train of thought involving the fact that yesterday was the first day of November, and I thought “holy shit, it’s pretty much the end of the year”. I always get nervous towards the end of a year, because my birthday is on the last day of January. I start thinking about all the things I haven’t accomplished over the year that I’d sworn I would, and about the fact that I’m one year closer to the end of my life (yea yea, pessimism or realism… whatever, shut up).
I’m going to be 20 next year. Most people would be all psyched, because hell, 20 is that much closer to the “magical” age of 21. My issue isn’t with that, it’s with the whole fact that 20 years is pretty much a quarter of your life (let’s all pretend that 80 is our average age span). Being young is so beautiful. I absolutely love myself right now. I’m in college, juggling some family responsibilities and school work, and more or less cruising down the streets of Miami at my leisure. My whole life is ahead of me. I haven’t done anything I regret. I have the liberty to smile at random people and children and not be considered creepy.
There is a poignant beauty in that moment of anticipation before something. Much like the engagement period in a relationship is always ten times better than the marriage (this fact deserves a post all its own so let’s leave it as that for now). I have so much hope and goals and dreams for my life. Nothing crazy even, just little things that I plan to do. I have no idea of course if I’ll accomplish even half of it, but that’s just it. I don’t know, but it’s beautiful to be able to have that crazy anticipation for my life. Once you hit 30, you can’t really say you’re young anymore. You can pretend all you want, but there’s the truth.
My train of thought for this post is totally gone now, as mi madre put on Father of the Bride and I think I’d like to watch this with my full attention (dad is cracking up and nodding in agreement with Steve Martin’s silliness). Also, it’s 11:30 and there’s half an hour before this post is officially late.
Until tomorrow then.
-NaBloPoMo day 2